Ooo....I've been meaning to do this for a really loooong time!! 

Reasons which held me back:

1. Lack of time.
2. Over-reliance on Microsoft Word to help CAPITALIZE the first letters of all my sentences.
3. The gut feeling that this will intrude on homework time x(
4. Exposing (selectively) your feelings/opinions to anyone/everyone...eheh...
5. Insane fear of spelling/grammatical errors in my posts. (LJ spell check is SO COOL.)

RANDOM FACT 1
- joelynn has never blogged in all 16 years of her life. EVER.

I actually wanted to make everything perfect before i started posting but now i really can't be bothered. I'm clueless at all these blog skin-ny layout-y thingies. x) Heh, soooo many things are happening this year at an insanely fast rate. Somehow it's already mid-Feb, and i'm afraid that by this time next year i would have forgotten everything i've done. 

Reasons which made me start:

1. Lack of commitments. (oh the irony)
2. Lack of the presence of my ABSOLUTE FAV. SUBJECT IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE....HISTORY in my current subject combi.
3. Fear of losing my english language proficiency
4. The start of a new lunar year on the chinese calendar, albeit a start that was a little late. hehe...
5. I didn't want to waste my lovely lj name/acc. heh. can't believe i actually managed to get my name...much thanks to louise for making me sign up...uhh...waaay last year.

FIRSTLY. (WHY BCME INSTEAD OF HLEM.)

It was THE click. The one click that would determine where i would end up 2, 5, 10 years down the road. And i am ashamed to confess that even as I placed my finger over the touch pad i had no idea where this would be leading. I knew the BCME combi would mean MUGGING. As in ACTUAL MUGGING, and being a self-professed procrastinator i have problems visualizing this. Especially for chemistry, which i barely made the requirement of course.  But i went for it anyway, and now my life revolves around "chem tut due tues, bio tut due mon, go early for bio lect or get scolded by scary lecturer." I guess there are good sides to it. I'd like to say that my life is so much more organized and categorized now. Chemistry and Math require you to think logically and present your explanations in a clear and concise manner, skills which i have NEVER possesed. And my trip to the US last year helped me to discover what i lacked in order to achieve self-actualization. Weell, at least Biology and Economics are fun, and i've got really cool tutors as well! x) 

OH, this in addition to seeing the class allocation, meeting my CT group, my wonderful seniors, being in ARES, meeting all the tutors. I dunno, it makes everything fall in place nicely as if everything was the way it was meant to be. I wouldn't say i hate my current situation, but i'd really hate to encounter a situation in the future where i go "DANG why didn't i choose HLEM?!'  Soo...yeah. The fear of regretting making a choice which results in more fear for 'A levels'. I have absolutely no idea how i'm going to manage getting an "A" for chem in "A levels" especially. It's simply not done. Which also explains the fear.

Entering the science stream BCME (for ppl who have absolutely no clue and assumed i went with HLEM - still filled with self-doubt about this choice though x) ) made me realize the importance of recording stuff down logically and systematically. I'm doing chemistry tutorials and asking myself why why why over and over again...I really hope i've made the right decision. Not that i actually hate the subjects, i mean it's just that the love and passion and the feeling that time isn't passing at all when you do assignments doesn't happen for me in chemistry (or math) like in history. 

But i guess i'm really lucky to be placed in the care of conscientious and hardworking classmates, who constantly encourage me with their outstanding acheivements in math assignments and chem tutorials. They also do not fail to motivate me by turning up at the CT bench at 6:30 am and starting on math tut 5B when the lecturer hasn't even started lecture series 5. The Importance of Being Ear-ly....not. argh. Hopefully i can catch on to this mugging spirit soon. I don't remember working this hard in ages. Oh. Now i do, i think that was in primary 2 when i only got 97 for Chinese in mid-years and my mother brought out the cane and for EOYs i got 98. 

Ooo....for people that were not aware, my entire class actually signed up for H1 chinese initially, resulting in our placement in 08S7A. Hah, when our seniors found out it was hilarious, half of them didn't believe us, and the other half called us idiots. Okay maybe more than half called us idiots. Anyway...it seemed like we all wanted to learn chinese to gain an advantage for future business opportunities in China or something. But then we realized that all of us were mostly sleeping during the H1 chinese introductory lecture so we uhh...weren't aware of the curriculum and scope of the subject. HOW CAN THERE BE NO 报章报导for EOYs? HOW ON EARTH WILL ANY CHINESE STUDENT BE ABLE TO SURVIVE THE EXAM BY WRITING A DESCRIPTIVE CHINESE ESSAY?? So in an entirely cowardly gesture (got my A for HCL.), i cruelly forsaked my mother tongue and iconized my spoken chinese proficiency with "男蚊子可以帮助花变成水果，而女蚊子只会吸别人的血."
In an entirely random note: 

OH MAN I MISS HISTORY SO MUCH. I actually feeel like doing SBQs. "I agree with the statement to a larger extent. This source is unreliable in cross-reference to my contextual knowledge as well as other sources." AWWW.....

OH HISTORY PPL STILL OUT THERE
HEAR MY PLEA
GIMME YOUR NOTES 
AND YOU'LL GET LEFTOVER V.DAY COOKIES FOR FREE.  

And i wish i were doing LIT. (i haven't written any poetry since P4 CAP. hmph.)

Ahh...some things just never change huh. I hope it's possible to keep the "history-ness", "411-ness" and "randomness" even while mugging and reverting to what is termed as "hwachong speak". ARGH. I can actually actualy feel my english engrish slipping away, I AM SO SORRY MR LEE. ...What if all i'm left with at the end of 2 years in Hwachong is, "Eh..you gg lah. Whole day emo sia, then tuts all never do, 去死吧 you owe me the 钱 from fishtank mango madness since 昨天. GG...gggggggg!!!" - not that i said this, or will say this or, i dunno....OH THE FEAR. >< And it doesn't help that GP is sooooo dry. Or that being responsive in class awards you weird stares from your classmates. I need to read more books, and NEWSWEEK not just to complete GP homework. Do you guys have to do the stupid vocab crossword thing too in the GP newsweek quiz (if you even have it) or is it some form of discrmination against science stream students?! Imagine skipping over how Hillary's alleged racist remarks were used by Obama to gain support in Georgia to find a word that means "disrespect and intense dislike - contempt". !!!

OKAY. I'm tired. It's been a looong day. Prac for Valentine's Day SINGING telegram for church in the morning, followed by painful tightening of braces (it's taking forever. idiot teeth.), then ardous and tortuous PIANO CLASS for 3 1/2 hrs.. AH EXAM MARCH 11, I JUST WANNA PASS. PASS. PASS. Uhh...to end off i want to state publicly what topics i shall attempt to cover in the next few weeks...

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER....

1. MY LURVELY CLASS - 08S7A and SENIOR CLASS - 07S7A!! <33
2. ALL ARES RELATED THINGS - dramafest, fac dance, war games, orientation, x-country, etc.
3. CNY CNY CNY. 
4. VALENTINE'S DAY 2008.
5. CHOIR CHOIR CHOIR CHOIR. yay. 

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Overcome - Jordin Sparks